Truth.

Dreams.

One day, I want a kitchen like this..

and a living room like this..

with a staircase like this..

that leads to a room like this..

with pictures hanging like this..

That would be lovely.

Seventeen.

Right now.

Looking back over the weekend,

it was so full of love.

I love my Father, big beds,

family, el patio, smiles, 

birthday parties, resurrection,

deviled eggs, hugs, sunshine, 

kids, home cooking, soft sheets,

old pictures, friends.

"Let's make a hit list."

I'm a list maker.
But don't worry.. no hit lists for me.

I make to-do lists,

shopping lists, supply lists,

books-to-read lists, movies-to-watch lists..

The list goes on and on.

(See what I did there?)

So I have this list.

It's one of those Bucket List type things.

I like to call mine A List to Live By.

It's pretty important to me.

Here's just a few..

Number one: Ride in a hot air balloon.

Number two: Plant a tree (or two or three).

Number three: Paint a mural.

Number four: Go back to Hattieville, Belize.

Number five: Throw a party from every decade.

Number six: Read the whole Bible.

Number seven: Take a photography class.

Number eight: Learn to ballroom dance.

Number nine: Build a Habitat for Humanity home.

Number ten: See a concentration camp.

Number eleven: Take a train ride.

Number twelve: Go paintballing.

Number thirteen: Go to Israel.

Number fourteen: Change someone's life.

Number fifteen: Go to the circus.

These are things I find interesting.

These are things I want to try.

These are things I will achieve.

Be.

If you want to be happy, be.

–Leo Tolstoy

In the one class that I look forward to, 

Larry introduced us to different kinds of art.

We've seen photo-realistic art and surrealistic art.

Super cool, right?

Just recently it's been "abstract" and "expressive" art.

Whatever that is..

"Get more creative, think outside the box" he said.

Let me just tell you,

nothing sets you free like frustration.

Nothing.

This is my frustration.

I wish every painting could set me free the way this one did.
I've never been so proud of getting angry.

While creating this dripping, slathering, sloppy piece of art,

I let go.

Those three simple words are so hard for me to do.

I'm tense painting, drawing, doing homework..

I can't even relax if someone is rubbing my shoulders.

Yep, it's that bad.

But this,

This was me everywhere.

This was me no where.

This was me trying so hard.

This was me giving up.

This is me.
I let me be.

Graphic Design is..

stressful, intense, frustrating, difficult,

time-consuming, overwhelming.

I don't register for classes until April 26.

What the heck!

My roommate registers next Monday.

So much for having the schedule I want/need.

I was hard enough planning around the ridiculous hours

that overlap multiple class starting times.

Oh, Graphic Design..

I thought we were going to get along.